


Shape of you

by Youthgoneoscarwilde



Category: Queer Eye for the Straight Guy RPF
Genre: Antoni Porowski - Freeform, Developing Relationship, Gay, Gay Couple, Lingerie, Love, M/M, Problems, boy in lingerie, gaining weight, jonathan van ness - Freeform, moving in, nightgowns, not feeling attractive, relationship, self love, self love struggles, struggles, supporting - Freeform, supporting struggle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-07 18:37:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20821961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Youthgoneoscarwilde/pseuds/Youthgoneoscarwilde
Summary: Something has changed in Jonathan since they moved in, Antoni has to find out what....





	Shape of you

**Author's Note:**

> This nothing but fiction, made up by my mind and has nothing to do with real life neither isn’t it based on real life events! I respect anyone’s personal relationships and life and don’t wanna offend anyone with this! English isn’t my mother langue, so I am sorry for any mistakes! 
> 
> Lots of love A

Antoni was used to Jonathan being confident, he always had been. He couldn’t remember a moment since he knew him that he wasn’t, he had never tried to change who he was for anyone. He was also used to the nightgowns, Jonathan looked good in them, just like he looked in the skirts or heels. He wore nightgowns most of the time, would only sometimes change them for some oversized hoodie and a shorts when he felt lazy. Lately however, in fact since they moved in together six weeks ago, the nightgowns became rare to non existing. They made space for more hoodies and sweat pants, not that he really minded, but he was worried. Jonathan had never worn hoodies and sweat pants for this long. And If he ever wore a hoodie to sleep he was used to Jonathan taking of the thing as soon as he woke up. But this also didn’t happened anymore. In the begging he blamed it on the fact that they moved, it was stressful and lots of work he probably wouldn’t feel like dolling up for sleep either. However they had been living at the place for weeks now and Jonathan still stuck to the hoodies and sweat pants. Which wouldn’t be something to worry about to much, if it wasn’t for that fact that not only the nightgowns became rare but also the sex. They usually had sex at least every second day, sometimes every day. It was probably way more then other couples had, but they were young and freshly in love( well for 8 months now). However doing the last six weeks they had lived together, it had cut down to once. Not once a week, but once in the whole six weeks. First he thought it was because of the stress that came with moving, but when they had lived at the place for two weeks and still no sex, he thought that it might have been because of something else. He had tried, multiplay times, to get things going again, but he hadn’t gotten anything more then some teenager like make out and a half hearted excuse. ,, I am tired“,, I wanna watch the movie“ ,, I don’t feel like it today“ ,, I am still a bit hungover“. This wasn’t normal and he wanted to bring the topic up, but he had no idea how.   
When Jonathan came home this day from a meet up with friends, he had cooked dinner for them, one of Jonathan’s favourites and opened the best bottle of wine he could find in their flat. When Jonathan had kicked off his heels, he gave him a smile and a small kiss on the lips. ,, Dinner is almost ready. Sit down“ Antoni said. Jonathan gave him half a smile. ,, Only a small portion for me, I am not that hungry.“ He answered, sitting down at the table. Antoni raised a brow, Jonathan probably hadn’t eaten much since he left this morning, beside this was one of his faves. 

He sat down at the table, his glass filed with fine, Jonathan’s only half and untouched. He wanted to bring the topic up but it probably wasn’t the best for dinner, so they talked about other stuff. He noticed Jonathan poking around in his food, only eating small bits and moving it all over the plate so it looked like he eat more. ,, You don’t like it?“ Antoni asked, a bit disappointed, dinner took him quite a while, and beside the fact that it was good in his opinion, it was also supposed to make Jonathan happy after a long day, but it didn’t seemed like it did. ,, You don’t have to eat it if you don’t like it.“ He said. Jonathan looked up. ,, No, it’s good. It’s really good“ ,, Yeah, I see.“ Antoni murmured. ,, I am sorry.“ Jonathan answered. Antoni just shrugged his shoulders, there wasn’t anything to be sorry about, if Jonathan didn’t liked it anymore it was fine. ,, Don’t be.“ He said. Jonathan shrugged his shoulder, taking a small bit of the dinner in front of him. 

When Antoni cleaned the table, he took his empty plate and Jonathan still half full one to the sink. Looking at the barley eaten food on the plate before puring it in the trash. He needed to bring this topic up, not only has his confidence changed when they are alone, he had also starten rejection affection, as well as dressed different. If he only knew how to bring it up.  
,, I will take a quick shower.“ Jonathan murmured, passing him. 

Antoni had changed into Pj bottoms and settled down on the coach, some snacks on the table and the Tv already on, when Jonathan came out of the shower. Hair braided, wearing some oversize sweater and sweatpants. He sat down next to Jonathan, half cuddling up to him, but that was about it. Antoni coughed, looking down to Jonathan resting his head on his shoulder. This was probably his chance, now or he wouldn’t dare to bring it up ever.  
So he reached for the Tv remoter and paused Netflix. ,, What’s wrong?“ Jonathan asked, sitting up. ,, This, I should ask you.“ Antoni Said. ,, What do you mean?“ ,, Something has changed. Some weeks ago and don’t tell me it’s nothing.“ ,, I“ Jonathan looked down, playing around with the yawn on his hoodie. ,, Have you noticed that we haven’t had sex in six weeks?“ ,, I... yeah...“ ,, And it’s not the only thing! You have become less confident lately and you started dressing different. I mean, I don’t mind if you feel comfortable, but you changed the nightgowns to oversized sweatpants and hoodies out of nowhere and you hardly eat any of the stuff I cook, I mean if it’s because you don’t like what I am doing it’s fine, you just need to say it... Is this all because of me? Is this why we stopped having sex? You not attracted to me anymore?“ ,, No, of course not. It’s not because of you!“ Antoni wasn’t used to his boyfriend being this quite and sad looking. ,, Then what is it? Something must be wrong! And I would like to know because if it isn’t me, something else must be bothering you!“ ,, It’s... it’s me“ Jonathan murmured. ,, What?“ Antoni raised an eyebrow, confused. ,, It’s....“ Jonathan looked everywhere but him. ,, It’s me. I... I have gained some weight since we moved in and I don’t really like it, I don’t think it looks cute. I... well I don’t feel attractive! I tried to hide it, because I couldn’t really lose it again so far and I am sure you don’t find it attractive....“ These words shocked Antoni, never would he have thought that something like this would be the reasons for Jonathan’s change.

Antoni waited for Jonathan to finally look at him. Reaching out to touch his arm, before resting his hand on his hip. ,, Babe“ He murmured. ,, That’s stupid. I find you really attractive, I always will, you are beautiful, you are really attractive!“ Jonathan shrugged his shoulders. ,, Jonathan!“ He said. ,, I am sorry you feel like that, I don’t want you to feel like this, like I wouldn’t want you.“ Antoni leaned in closer, connecting there lips for a short moment, hand on Jonathan cheek, brushing over his beard, before hugging him really close. He could feel Jonathan relaxing into the hug, turning his head do burry his nose in his hair. He could hear Jonathan giggle just the slightest. ,, I actually think you look hot as fuck. I had hit on you if I saw you in the streets.“ Jonathan started to laugh hard and Antoni smiled. ,, What?” He asked. ,, Nothing” Jonathan murmured, smiling. ,, I love you.“ Antoni said. ,, I love you too.“ Antoni reached out to let his hands wander under Jonathan hoodie and for a short moment he could feel his rejection, but then Jonathan carefully leaned into the touch, not yet sure as if he liked the touches on his skin or not. ,, That’s okay?“ Antoni asked. ,, Yeah.“ Jonathan murmured, cuddling closer. It had been six weeks without this closeness and Antoni had missed, enjoyed it now. Never would it have crossed his mind that Jonathan didn’t liked his own body anymore, that he questioned his own sex appeal. There couldn’t be a single thing in the world that would make Jonathan undesirable for him! He pressed his lips against Jonathan‘s neck, testing the waters. He allowed it and they got closer, kissing carefully, hands dancing once skin, before Jonathan murmured: ,, Take me to bed, please?“


End file.
